This is where the overthinking kicks in. I start to doubt my decision to take the IB next year instead of the IA wondering if there is a way to keep this mindset and vision in my head in both of these programs. Both are faulty, like everything in life, but so am I. In the Innovation Academy I am constantly being pushed to do better, and to point out places in which I could improve. Me being a perfectionist, this stresses me out an gives me too much anxiety, making me work extreme amounts of hours, sacrificing vital things in life for work that will be irrelevant eventually. Breakthrough is a perfect example.
In the other hand, the IB focuses on only a numerical value that measures the performance of a student, with a highest grade, meaning that you can’t, theoretically, “get better than that”. We all know this is a big lie, but I will play along this lie if I chose to take the IB. This is also going to be a big stress trigger and I am not sure how it is that I will react to this, hopefully not the way I reacted as a Layout Editor in Breakthrough.
I hope that at the end of the day, the program I chose to take does not have such a big impact on my life as I think it will. I hope that I learn to stop giving away my emotional freedom for work and start valuing life as it is. I hope I stop over-doing and over-thinking so that I can truly strive in whichever program I chose to follow. I hope I make the right decision and that I grow up to be happy.